um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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