She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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