One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
