You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
