There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
