Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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