Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
