she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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