I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
