You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
