Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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