i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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