The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
