belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
