how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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