I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
