what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
