Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
