question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
