3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
