you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
