Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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