Your face is a jimmy john
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
