physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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