you win again, gameday.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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