I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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