Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
