YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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