I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
