you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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