its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
