Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
