Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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