one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
