Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
