And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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