Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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