just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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