Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Houston, we have a squirter
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
