obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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