NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
