i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
