Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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