ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I checked into jail on foursquare
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
