Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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