peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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