smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
