Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
