At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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