she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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